Retrospective Scrutiny

To me:

Body language 

Is a symphony 

Silently told, yearning to be heard

Seldom uttered in words

Through visualization

 It speaks

As I.....

Rhythmically 

Decipher

Another individuals beat 

🥁

During the Summer

Enjoying 

The light of the sun

Among the crowd(s)

I observe the purity 

Of

Blossoming

As the spring 

Before it bloomed

New relationships
Buzzing 

Like the wings of a bee

 Fluttering 

A gaiety

So contagious 

Onlookers glance and smile

Remembering what it was like

To have once been

  Cast under the same spell.....

Whilst

Countless individuals adorn
The reciprocal
Of enchantment

Through circumstance(s)

 Believing
They're damaged

And dispose of their:

Retrospection 

Pulsates - Thumps

Betwixt 

Various chambers of the mind 

Thoughts - repeatedly reverberating

Conjure sensations 

Unsuccessfully contrived 

Amid the abyss 

Failed attempts 

 Trying to pass off hatred

 As strength  

Truth 

Emits from the eyes

A soul tired of hiding

The pain of aching 

Scarred from crying....

I don't know anything at all.....

Through endurance
I've experienced
Both sides of the spectrum

The following
Represents an area
 In between

I regain consciousness to blurry vision

Written: October 21, 2008

I live my life constantly searching to obtain insight, on whatever I deem myself ignorant. 
During my never ending scrutiny, we collided. 
Yet, the more I think, I don’t believe our collision was a spontaneous accident.  

What ensues after, I keep telling myself, is in reality's hand.

 Who you are represents an unexpected exploration; I didn’t seek out for understanding.
To be taught something without looking
Is invaluable to say the least.

 The surface of appearances can destroy what it wants to ignite.
I’m often blind sighted at your glow, not looking inside you, but around you.
 Attempting to foresee what’s unknown.

  The illumination of you creeps

Taking refuge in the darkness

Of my unaccompanied heart...

Whenever something catches me off guard that I am unprepared for I am taken aback as to why. If I feel my reasoning/judgment is getting cloudy, I look for understanding elsewhere. The route to that understanding was to sabotage you, by using what I know against you.

The following words in italics aren't mine.
But I know, it will help paint a picture of what you may not see,
Yet already know.

  

“ If we are to change people’s opinions - and affecting opinion is basic to seduction- we must act in subtle, subliminal ways.”

  

  

“We fall under a kind of spell. Our minds are usually preoccupied with our own concerns; now they become filled with thoughts of the loved one. We grow emotional, lose the ability to think straight, act in foolish ways that we would never do otherwise. If this goes on long enough something inside us gives away: we surrender to the will of the loved one, and to our desire to possess them.”

  

  

“Seducers are people who understand the tremendous power contained in such moments of surrender. They analyze what happens when people are in love, study the psychological components of the process - what spurs the imagination, what casts a spell. By instinct and through practice they master the art of making people fall in love. As the first seductresses knew, it is much more effective to create love than lust. A person in love is emotional, pliable, and easily mislead. (The origin of the word “seduction” is the Latin for “to lead astray”). A person in lust is harder to control and, once satisfied, may easily leave you. Seducers take their time, create enchantment and the bonds of love, so that when sex ensues it only further enslaves the victim. Creating love and enchantment becomes the model for all seductions- sexual, social, political. A person in love will surrender”

  

  

  

“Seducers have a warrior’s outlook on life. They see each person as a kind of walled castle to which they are laying siege. Seduction is a process of penetration:  initially penetrating the target’s mind, their first point of defense. Once seducers have penetrated the mind, making the target fantasize about them, it is easy to lower resistance and create physical surrender. Seducers do not improvise; they do not leave this process to chance. Like any good general, they plan and strategize, aiming at the target’s particular weaknesses.”

  

  

“ What will seduce a person is the effort we expend on their behalf, showing how much we care, how much they are worth. Leaving things to chance is a recipe for disaster, and reveals that we do not take love and romance very seriously.”

  

  

“ Falling in love is a matter not of magic but of psychology. Once you understand your target’s psychology, and strategize to suit it, you will be better able to cast a “magical” spell. A seducer sees love not as sacred but as warfare, where all is fair.”

  

  

“ Self-absorption is a sign of insecurity; it is anti-seductive. Everyone has insecurities, but seducers manage to ignore them, finding therapy for moments of self-doubt by being absorbed in the world. It gives them a buoyant spirit- we want to be around them. Second, getting into someone’s skin, imagining what it is like to be them, helps the seducer gather valuable information, learn what makes that person tick, what will make them lose their ability to think straight and fall into a trap. Armed with such information, they can provide focused individualized attention- a rare commodity in a world in which most people see us only from behind the screen of their own prejudices. Getting into a targets skin is the first important tactical move in the war of penetration.”

  

~*Robert Greene, The Art Of Seduction

Note: The word love is often used to emphasize a point, please disregard it. At this stage it is extremely premature and unrealistic to focus on, TRUST! read between the lines, and the characteristics these words describe. You cannot say I’m wrong for applying them to you. If you do believe I’m wrong, take a step back and see how you chose to project yourself, amongst certain individuals.

As I tried to gain clarity from words written by another, I came at you sideways (protecting myself from what I couldn’t see) which is basically an attempt to push people away.
 Obviously with you, that didn’t work. 

You told me If I’m going to make assumptions about you. Before I come to any conclusions, to make sure you’re present to defend yourself. I said in my head: SOUNDS GOOD!
 Gotta love the venom he spits.

When you told me “You’re not the only one that hurts” (More Venom) As simple as those words are, the baritone of your voice, and the way in which you said it. Made me take a glimpse inwardly and evaluate myself. Which is something I seldom do; especially when it comes to dealing with others. I always think to myself:

 "Do what you have to do, in order to protect your heart"

Never thinking in the process two people can get got (blinded sighted by each other/the unknown)

Trying to determine what’s real, opposed to being fictitious.
Is something no one in life is exempt.

Can you be full of all types of sh*t, of course.
Can you be a sincere individual, who wishes me no ill will, foul or harm, of course.
Getting agitated in the process, of what only the future can reveal: is a personal hurdle.

In the midst of the uncertainty of who and what you are.
You managed to make me look inside of myself.
In between we caught:

The Most Fragile Part Of Me
Nurses Our Strongest Connection....

The significance of the words above, exemplifies a day eternalized in my being.   I came to you in a bout of anxiety, and we conversed. I recall asking you a question you wouldn’t answer, which upset me.  When I asked why you wouldn’t answer me, you stated because I’m in the middle and could be swayed to either side. You stated I would have to come to my own conclusion.  

At first I was beyond insulted. WTF does he mean I'm in the middle?  (I think I’m right about everything, especially when it comes to myself and how I think) As I humbled myself, the realization of your words set in, I was WOW'ed.

 I thought how the hell does he know this, and how can he speak of it so simplistically??
When I asked how did you know?
You told me because you were in the middle as well.

It was as if in that moment you reached inside my Pandora’s Box
Flashing a secretive flaw.
Before closing it, you reached behind your back showing me the similarity of yours.

If I remember nothing else, that single moment of pure honesty, helps me disregard any negativity that seeps into my mind about you. You helped me confront a shadow that has chased me for decades. Whenever I look in that shadows eyes; remembrance of your words immediately follow.  Offering a sense of comfort; as I step away from the middle.

Who you are scares me, yet draws me to you simultaneously. I feel as if I'm more focused on my fear of you. Trying my best to destroy how I feel
 Instead of excepting you as you come.

In short will rob me of discovering, the unknown.

Time Reveals All....

A Heart Surrounded
By Concrete
Slowly Chips Away
At Your Feet
Inwardly I'm Elated
To Let Down My Guard
Even If In The End
All It's Worth
Is A New Scar

© LaToya S. C.

I was lost

Somehow drifting away

Was almost gone

You've brought me to life again......

THANK YOU!

P.ositive E.nergy A.ctivates C.onstant E.levation