Forever A Stan

Who Ya'll Comparing 

Me To

Is Nonsense

Show Gratitude

In The Presence

Of Dominance...

The Ghetto Othello

The Moor

They Speak Venomous On The Boy...

They Want The End of Me

Cause I'm

PURE

I’m Looking In Longevity’s Eyes

I Play With Infinity’s Mind

Forever’s My Guy

My Pedigree 

Above Your Ass, 

You’ll Never See I

I Love The Past

 But See Where I'm Going

I Get To FLY! 

Inherent Wordsmith

Writing 
illuminates 
My being

For:

The Faintest Ink

Is better than

The best memory

Allowing me to immortalize perspicacity....

I have 

no desire 

to fulfill your curiosity

Words spoken aloud 

become the domain 

of public property

Naïveté ÷ Sincerity =

A parasites fool

Commodity 

in a cesspool 

of abuse

Drowning 

in 

crisis

Triggered 

by the grandiosity 

of the lifeless

Fight - Flight - Freeze - Fawn 

Reptilian brain

Cerebral cortex 

Pineal gland 

Forfeits 

Reactionary pretenses 

camouflaged

by aggression

Protection 

Whenever 

Tested

Orchestrate - Invalidate - Deregulated - Trauma 

High tolerance
for pain
or nothing left to maim 

Outwardly

Maslow's Hierarchy 

Internal 

Transcendence 

Journey of a Pariah...

I have 

no desire 

To fulfill the curiosity 

Of pathological liar(s)

Arsenal of omissions
conveniently
distort reality

Equivocators Fiction

Believing 

their treachery 

is unseen 

Poetic Parable 

Discernment 

is my 

weaponry

Artistry

Kamikazes 
Gift

Blind  - To see 

Unspoken Speech 

Inherent

Wordsmith

© LaToya S. C.

I Came From A Jungle

Made Of Concrete 

And conflict

Liars.... Held Us Hostage

Where I Learned The Difference

Between

Authentic & Impostors

I'm The Center

Of Your 

Conscious

The Black Dot

Honey Skin

The Pinnacle Of Progress!

Dictatorship is stagnation
that distills the learning vestibule of life
commonly known as mistakes.

Be as real 
with yourself
as you expect others to be.

We Are Weakest 
When We Try To Get Something 
For Nothing

Ask questions,
knowing the answer isn't obvious.
Nor is it conventional to your convenience. 


Teacher or a student??
Forgetting
The roles are interchangeable. 

When expectations refuse to evolve 
with circumstances
you hinder yourself. 

On a daily basis 

countless individuals 

are thrust into unpredictable, foreign territory... 

Hours, weeks, months; sometimes years

They comes out on the other side inspired 
by their endurance to surpass 
what was meant to destroy them. 

Gifted an accomplishment 
that is intangible - to the eye - 
internally resides. 

This course of renewal is never ending...... 

In all that I have experienced
because I am a writer
I am never alone.

The universe resides inside of me.

P.ositive E.nergy A.ctivates C.onstant E.levation 

Oversaturation

In life
we're either blindly optimistic
or bitterly pessimistic.

Assumptions without facts
And interchangeable emotions -  will leave one
 on either side of the spectrum.

Taking on something that requires
intense commitment
is the equivalent of jumping into a new relationship without properly healing
from certain damages.

You can be so caught up in the moment,
feel an indescribable high from starting something "new"
you are unrealistic
nor see the detriment - of not remembering;

You must crawl before you walk.

Gradually 
Move 
Forward

My plate was over flowing with various issues
and I added something new on top of it, assuming
it would be appetizing....

NO, STILL SLOP!

Cannot 
Place a rosebud on a pile of shit, 
it's still shitty underneath. 

You have to rid your self of certain elements 
 to start anew and plant your seed into the ground by 1st digging up the weeds....

What You Know About
Sacrificing
All Your Wants For All Your Needs???





Your burdens are perfectly measured

and gifted to you

according to your resistance.

No one rises above

who he or she has been

without first having fallen down. 

The best time - in fact, the only time

to make a real change in your life 

is in the moment of seeing a need for it. 

S/he who hesitates always gets lost

in the hundred reasons why tomorrow

is a better day to get started.

The bars on our cage are of our own making

Nothing in the universe can stop you

from letting go and starting over.... 

As I've grown older, I became more self conscious. 


Where I once elated to share my thoughts with others, manifested into not wanting outsiders
 to know aspects of what I am.

It has crippled me in a sense.

The overabundance of social media,
cheapened
better yet - tainted various forms of expression.

 It became a mockery 
or happenstance for anyone with a smartphone - the era of just because.

Gone was the desire/inspiration, 
replaced 
with a caricature of the sameness.


How many
 portray a false sense of perfection for onlookers to idolize...


Sunken into the abyss of the
Oversaturation 
of 

Nothingness...

"The art of living 

Does not consist in preserving and clinging 

To a particular mood of happiness, 

But in allowing happiness to change its form 

Without being disappointed by the change; 

For happiness like a child 

Must be allowed to grow up" 

~* Charles Langbridge Morgan 

Dearest Sister

For as long as I can remember
Whenever endurance is ineffable 

Comprehension always comes

In the form of a quote. 

A few hours after waking up 

The following words

Ricocheted through  my mind.

"One of the hardest things in life
Is having words in your heart
You can't utter"

For countless individuals

Dealing with the death of a loved one 

Is unbearable, due to finality.

For me, knowing an individual is alive 

And you cannot see or speak with them

Is the greatest pain. 

The following poem is an expression of said turmoil.

Until We Meet Again... (Dedicated To My Older Sister)

Written: January 15, 2007

Aside From Our Mother 
You Were My Love In Life
As I Look Back Laughing
Remember
The Battles We Had With
GI-Joe, Wrestling Men & Transformers
Are The Toys We Played With 
Before Mom Had Our Little Brother

Remember 
Playing She-Ra & He-Man
Running Around The House Fighting
Skeletor & Other Imaginary Foes
As You Let Me Be Cheetara
Whenever We Played
Thunder, 
Thunder, 
Thunder Cats… HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 


Remember 
Playing General Hospital 
And All My Children
With Our Barbie's…..
When We Grew Tired Of That
We Played School & Dress Up 
With Our Beloved
Cabbage Patch Kids

Remember
Our Scrapped Up Knees, 

And Endless 
Lay Down On The Bed "Kick Fights"
Singing Along To 
Punky Brewster
Care Bares
Alvin & The Chipmunks
The Jefferson's &
GOOD TIMES!!!

As We Rushed Home From School To Watch
Woody Wood Pecker, 
Different Strokes And
The Facts Of Life


Remember 
Whenever Mom Told Us 
We Were Going To A Party
We'd Sit By The Radio
Recording All The Songs We Liked
We Would Practice In Our Room For Hours
Making Up Dances
Was The Joy 
We Lived By


Abruptly 
All The Above Went Away
When I Was in The 5th Grade 
You Left Me
You Were My First Heartache


Every time I Played A Game
Watched TV, Danced
Or Listened To The Radio
 

You Were No Longer Beside Me….


Now When I Played 
Thundercats
I No Longer Heard
Your Echoed 
Hooooooooo's
Without You 
I Felt Out Of Place,
I Didn't Know Where 
I Belonged 


If I Saw You Today
There Aren't Any Words 
That Can Describe How I'd Feel
As I'd Take The Chance 
To Unmask My Pain
And Reveal Everything 
I Would Never Verbalize
I'd Always Yield 


I Tried 
But Could Never Apologize,
Whenever I Saw You
Inwardly My Pain 
Confused You As
"Leaving Me"


When In Reality 
You Were A Child
Who Believed
The Mockery Of A "Fathers" Words
As They Shattered 
Your Adolescent Heart
Causing The Rift Between Us….
Forever Scarred 

So Many Years 
Have Passed Us By
So Many Things 
We've Never Gotten To do
As I Remember
You Were My Goddess
I Wanted To Walk, Talk, Dress 
And Be Like Everything 
That Embodied You


It Took Me Having My Son
To Understand
Searching For Certain "Why's?"
Is Wasted Time
People Are Who They Chose To Be
Until The Day Of Their Demise

As A Mother 
I Cannot Fathom 
Nor Am I Able To Rationalize
Why A Father Chooses Not To Partake
In Their Child's Life
As They May, One Day
Come Along With Empty Promises
Causing An Innocent Child
Irreversible Strife


But Don't Worry
My Dear Sister
If We're Ever Together 
And Come Across 
The Bastard
We Can Poke Out 
His Mother Fu*king Eyes.. 
 

What!!!!
You Know I Had To Throw In Some 
"LaToya" Humor… 
Otherwise

It Just Wouldn't Be Right 

Even If 
That Didn't Make You Laugh
This Is My Attempt 
To Apologize

As I Patiently Await The Day
To See You
I Truly Wish
I Knew When…..


"NOTHING BUT DEATH CAN KEEP ME FROM IT"


"The Color Purple's" -Nettie & Celie

I Love You

Until We Meet Again……

© LaToya S. C.

As I sit here drying tears from my eyes

I'm filled with sadness, knowing

A poem I wrote 6+ years ago, has the same meaning today. 

As time accumulates 

I become more fearful

Being in your presence, will not come to pass.  

Yet and still, I yearn for the moment
I'll be able to read these words 

To you in person.


The day when I can see your smile

Hear you voice and wrap my arms around you

In the warmest embrace. 

Maybe....just maybe

The little girl 

That resides inside of me 

Can finally grow up. 

I can still feel you near
So I'll smile
With every tear I cry....

Wherever you are

Whatever you're doing

I want to wish you a


Happy 34th Born Day!

Love always,
Your Little
Sister.


Toya-Bean.