For as long as I can remember
Whenever endurance is ineffable
Comprehension always comes
In the form of a quote.
A few hours after waking up
The following words
Ricocheted through my mind.
"One of the hardest things in life
Is having words in your heart
You can't utter"
Is having words in your heart
You can't utter"
For countless individuals
Dealing with the death of a loved one
Is unbearable, due to finality.
For me, knowing an individual is alive
And you cannot see or speak with them
Is the greatest pain.
The following poem is an expression of said turmoil.
Until We Meet Again... (Dedicated To My Older Sister)
Written: January 15, 2007
Aside From Our Mother
You Were My Love In Life
As I Look Back Laughing
Remember
The Battles We Had With
GI-Joe, Wrestling Men & Transformers
Are The Toys We Played With
Before Mom Had Our Little Brother
You Were My Love In Life
As I Look Back Laughing
Remember
The Battles We Had With
GI-Joe, Wrestling Men & Transformers
Are The Toys We Played With
Before Mom Had Our Little Brother
Remember
Playing She-Ra & He-Man
Running Around The House Fighting
Skeletor & Other Imaginary Foes
As You Let Me Be Cheetara
Whenever We Played
Thunder,
Thunder,
Thunder Cats… HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Remember
Playing General Hospital
And All My Children
With Our Barbie's…..
When We Grew Tired Of That
We Played School & Dress Up
With Our Beloved
Cabbage Patch Kids
Remember
Our Scrapped Up Knees,
And Endless
Lay Down On The Bed "Kick Fights"
Singing Along To
Punky Brewster
Care Bares
Alvin & The Chipmunks
The Jefferson's &
GOOD TIMES!!!
Lay Down On The Bed "Kick Fights"
Singing Along To
Punky Brewster
Care Bares
Alvin & The Chipmunks
The Jefferson's &
GOOD TIMES!!!
As We Rushed Home From School To Watch
Woody Wood Pecker,
Different Strokes And
The Facts Of Life
Remember
Whenever Mom Told Us
We Were Going To A Party
We'd Sit By The Radio
Recording All The Songs We Liked
We Would Practice In Our Room For Hours
Making Up Dances
Was The Joy
We Lived By
Abruptly
All The Above Went Away
When I Was in The 5th Grade
You Left Me
You Were My First Heartache
Every time I Played A Game
Watched TV, Danced
Or Listened To The Radio
You Were No Longer Beside Me….
Now When I Played
Thundercats
I No Longer Heard
Your Echoed
Hooooooooo's
Without You
I Felt Out Of Place,
I Didn't Know Where
I Belonged
If I Saw You Today
There Aren't Any Words
That Can Describe How I'd Feel
As I'd Take The Chance
To Unmask My Pain
And Reveal Everything
I Would Never Verbalize
I'd Always Yield
I Tried
But Could Never Apologize,
Whenever I Saw You
Inwardly My Pain
Confused You As
"Leaving Me"
When In Reality
You Were A Child
Who Believed
The Mockery Of A "Fathers" Words
As They Shattered
Your Adolescent Heart
Causing The Rift Between Us….
Forever Scarred
Now When I Played
Thundercats
I No Longer Heard
Your Echoed
Hooooooooo's
Without You
I Felt Out Of Place,
I Didn't Know Where
I Belonged
If I Saw You Today
There Aren't Any Words
That Can Describe How I'd Feel
As I'd Take The Chance
To Unmask My Pain
And Reveal Everything
I Would Never Verbalize
I'd Always Yield
I Tried
But Could Never Apologize,
Whenever I Saw You
Inwardly My Pain
Confused You As
"Leaving Me"
When In Reality
You Were A Child
Who Believed
The Mockery Of A "Fathers" Words
As They Shattered
Your Adolescent Heart
Causing The Rift Between Us….
Forever Scarred
So Many Years
Have Passed Us By
So Many Things
We've Never Gotten To do
As I Remember
You Were My Goddess
I Wanted To Walk, Talk, Dress
And Be Like Everything
That Embodied You
It Took Me Having My Son
To Understand
Searching For Certain "Why's?"
Is Wasted Time
People Are Who They Chose To Be
Until The Day Of Their Demise
As A Mother
I Cannot Fathom
Nor Am I Able To Rationalize
Why A Father Chooses Not To Partake
In Their Child's Life
As They May, One Day
Come Along With Empty Promises
Causing An Innocent Child
Irreversible Strife
But Don't Worry
My Dear Sister
If We're Ever Together
And Come Across
The Bastard
We Can Poke Out
His Mother Fu*king Eyes..
I Cannot Fathom
Nor Am I Able To Rationalize
Why A Father Chooses Not To Partake
In Their Child's Life
As They May, One Day
Come Along With Empty Promises
Causing An Innocent Child
Irreversible Strife
But Don't Worry
My Dear Sister
If We're Ever Together
And Come Across
The Bastard
We Can Poke Out
His Mother Fu*king Eyes..
What!!!!
You Know I Had To Throw In Some
"LaToya" Humor…
Otherwise
You Know I Had To Throw In Some
"LaToya" Humor…
Otherwise
It Just Wouldn't Be Right
Even If
That Didn't Make You Laugh
This Is My Attempt
To Apologize
As I Patiently Await The Day
To See You
I Truly Wish
I Knew When…..
"NOTHING BUT DEATH CAN KEEP ME FROM IT"
"The Color Purple's" -Nettie & Celie
I Love You
Until We Meet Again……
© LaToya S. C.
To See You
I Truly Wish
I Knew When…..
"NOTHING BUT DEATH CAN KEEP ME FROM IT"
"The Color Purple's" -Nettie & Celie
I Love You
Until We Meet Again……
© LaToya S. C.
As I sit here drying tears from my eyes
I'm filled with sadness, knowing
A poem I wrote 6+ years ago, has the same meaning today.
As time accumulates
I become more fearful
Being in your presence, will not come to pass.
Yet and still, I yearn for the moment
I'll be able to read these words
I'll be able to read these words
To you in person.
The day when I can see your smile
The day when I can see your smile
Hear you voice and wrap my arms around you
In the warmest embrace.
Maybe....just maybe
The little girl
That resides inside of me
Can finally grow up.
I can still feel you near
So I'll smile
With every tear I cry....
Wherever you are
Whatever you're doing
I want to wish you a
Happy 34th Born Day!
Happy 34th Born Day!
Love always,
Your Little
Sister.
Toya-Bean.
