Envy: Unhappy Self-Assertion

A life
Governed by the notion

"Anything you can do
I can do better"

Transforms one into:

Without the mask, where will you hide?
Can't find yourself, lost in your lie......

****

They say

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery"

Or
As Plutarch stated:

Of all the disorders of the soul

Is the only one no one confesses to


No one would be willing 
To unmask themselves 
To reveal the dreadful face of envy.


How bitter is one's own scarcity
When one contemplates
The well-being and property of others. 

"Those who envy natural gifts or personal superiorities such as beauty in women or genius in men have no consultation or hope and they have no other alternative than to bitterly and irreconcilable hate the person endowed with such qualities. This envy is the most insatiable and poisonous because the envious person has no hope left; but it is also the vilest because it abhors what it should love and respect."

"Discontented people feel threatened by the
Happy, virtuous, simple, disciplined,
Harmonious people.



One never feels envy for one’s inferiors. No one envies ugly, deformed, stupid, unpleasant, or failed people. Neither does anyone attempt to attack grotesque works of art or works lacking in harmony and beauty. It is precisely these qualities that arouse rage and ill will because they are backdrops against which one’s own insignificance or ugliness shows up.


The envious person hides just as carefully as the secret lascivious sinner,
 and becomes an inexhaustible inventor of tricks, schemes, and ruses
 to conceal and mask oneself.

The envious person will manage to combat or disqualify those whom he/she envies, so that at no time can anyone perceive the moral cancer that eats away at them. They will manage to discredit intelligent, valuable, straightforward, creative, and successful people, for by "chopping off" all these heads has made them feel small, they feel they've grown in size. 

The process of envy always starts with the initial  admiration one feels for someone, 

a feeling that later evolves into affection and love in their positive manifestations 

or to envy in its negative form.

It is really only possible
to envy those we admire or those we acknowledge as our superiors.
This envious obsession produces an unhealthy fixation
with respect to the image of the admired person, and this mechanism inevitably means
“looking up to” someone with pain and discomfort.

 The envious person both hates and desires the person envied.
They watch with the same care and passion
 as a person in love.

They cannot forget him/her.


The envious feels the envied ever-present
as it interferes with their feelings, their mind, and their dreams.
The envious wants to possess the envied belongings, to share their life and happiness,
to have their respect and consideration to then spurn it – in sum,
 to permanently coexist with them.


 There are moments when the envious person would like to dominate the person he/she negatively admires, not to destroy them but to share their existence, and there are other times when they would like to belong to him/her with the same aim in mind. The stimulus of their life is derived from the sentiment of envy by inventing all manner of strategies to harm or injure the person they negatively admire.


No one realizes the magnitude of the harm this underhanded, destructive force can bring about:
A power that kills a person from within, drying up the soul and shrinking the heart, burying it in the shadows of one of the most acute sufferings anyone can experience.

Its development
Bears its own
Punishment.

By wishing to do harm, one harms oneself;
By wanting to stand out, one becomes enslaved and subordinate;
By trying to debase the admired object, one ends by exalting it;
By attacking the happiness of others, one destroys one's own."

~*Dario Salas Sommer 


*****

Life has a way 

Of giving certain qualities

To those who do not ask for them

Their gift is a curse to those who want what they weren't meant to have.

To an outsider watching my interactions 

It's assumed I'm an extrovert

Contrary to what actions reflect, I'm an introvert.

A delighted wallflower
Where the actions of others is serene

Without the disturbance of direct involvement.

I believe my love for placidity and solitude

 Make others flock in my direction for fellowship

The same applies to my preference for writing introspections
Opposed to speaking them out loud

Therefore, I'm always asked to voice esoteric conception(s).

Both of these occurrences
In which I scarcely initiate 

Distance me from the proximity of  my comfort zone.

As a natural seer - guided by intuition 

 During interims on the outskirts of preferred elements

 My perception is enhanced to levels 

That're incomprehensible to others. 

Whenever I'm within the vicinity, or feel a vibe

 That's not easily interpreted by an outsider 

I go to a particular understander -  who gave me life.  

As I explain  the transference of  negative energy/ill will
From an individual I know detests me but insists on becoming my second shadow
 Mimicking who I am

Is irksome to say the very least. 

More times than I can count, my mother has told me:

 Imitation is a compliment.

And I usually give her the gas face, like 3rd bass. 

Not out of disrespect, I appreciate her wisdom

 But in difference of conjecture.

To me:

It isn't complementary for anyone 

To smile in my face, when obtrusive opposition is felt

Nor is it flattering for anyone to impersonate what  isn't possessed, naturally. 

Especially when  their emulation isn't to learn or evolve, but for the sake of "being better". 

There's nothing more disturbing

Than watching someone transform into a caricature of you

Beguiled in lies.

Knowing

Direction without purpose, will never suffice.
 Feelings of incapacity intensify - stem from no where 

But self. 

Unhappy Self-Assertion  =  Human poison

Sadly, I've experienced, seen and watched said disposition
Reign supreme over countless individuals

Who've yet to discover who they are because invaluable time is spent
 Trying to be like/keep up with everyone else. 

I adopt a
Minuscule and uninhibited circle

 Randomly cutting people off.  

Disposal - without explanation

A clear cut

 Manifestation: 

Time Reveals All 

When you're what you've always been,  

The continuance of artificiality is undauntedly luminous.

No matter how inconspicuous a person wishes to be

False pretenses extrude out of their mannerisms, actions, and speech

Resplendently.

Shattering 

The glass house they've built around themselves.

An eye green with envy looks out

Believing no one can see the destruction within: 

They Irradiate hate and resentment

Through their gaze  or

mere presence.

Corrupted By The Secret Passion 
That Corrodes