Remember Who You Are

Has anyone ever asked something of you

And in your intent to help said individual

They unintentionally gave you more then what they've asked?

To receive that which was never expected 

Is one of life's many treasures. 

A gift that isn't visual to the eye,

touching your essence

letting you know the unseen is real..


I would like to continue with an excerpt from the following:

"A mirror shows the reflection of anything that stands before it. We stand in front of a mirror and look to the mirror for answers. But what if we turned to ourselves for the answers instead?

Who Am I?

Isn't it strange that everyone forms an idea on who you will become or where you're going; yet the only person that is clueless is you? From the time you were a child, it seems that everyone sees your future through a crystal clear window. You are confused however, while you struggle to peer through the foggy glass hung on the wall. Countless times you look hesitantly into the mirror, not sure whose face you will see today, because you are constantly redefining who you are; but then it's the same face.

Discovering who you are is a lifelong journey. But in the early stages of your life, you already have the foundation for this elusive concept. You know many of your likes and dislikes; you know the things that brighten your day or the thing that make you upset. Even just looking at the environment that you live in can say a lot about you. When you look at the types of people around you or the mood of the atmosphere you've created in your personal space, this can portray a clear image of who you are. 

 Embracing Who I Am

You're in awe of this person who stands before you in the mirror. Your eyes are full of determination; your face is serious and sure; and your lips form into a slight smile of satisfaction. This is you, in all of your glory. This is you for the rest of your life.

I cannot tell you how many times I have been surprised by the face that stares back at me in the mirror. I cannot tell you how many times I have been startled by the gap between who I was and who I am. I cannot count the times where I have simply smiled back at the face and said quietly, "This is me; This is who I am." Satisfaction fills my body, blocking any doubt from crossing my mind. It's such a feeling of peace and harmony; like nothing could ever touch me or carry me down from where I float. I am not joyful or depressed; I'm just me.

Becoming Your Best Friend

It has taken me many years to catch up with myself. But, with much practice, I have learned to live from day to day, not knowing who I will become tomorrow, but living with the confidence that I will love whoever I will become. I look into the mirror with the knowledge that tomorrow I may bloom into someone slightly different from who I am today. But I see past me, present me, and future me; and I love it all with such a deep passion. 

I call this section "Becoming Your Best Friend" because I believe that the love I have for myself is that of a close companion. This love is the most important affection one can have. Friends may come and go, but this friend will always be there with you. This friend is your best support and best caretaker, your best role model and best motivator. Others can influence, but only you can make it happen....."

****

 I selected the words above for someone else to read.

which  brought tears of insight 

as the warmth of gratitude cascaded throughout my being. 

Once again I give my sincerest thanks to Khadija. 

Hearing from you today pointed me in the direction of this book, 

leading me to the dearest book I've ever received.

****

The following words, were previously written. 

Right now I sit 

 closing my eyes 

Seeing what I've allowed life to bury in my mind. 

Remember Who You Are

                                                     Written July 07, 2008                                                    

As I was going through, what I've written in the past. I realized how important it is to document what one feels. The words you write today can be inspiration to yourself, at a later date and time.

Earlier this evening, I was going through my draws trying to find something. During my search I found a paper I wrote in college. The assignment was to compare Icon’s and artifacts. I laughed when I noticed I wrote 8 pages. I said to myself, YUP! You truly are long winded, how on earth could you write 8 pages on something so simple. The fact that I wrote 8 Pages, sparked curiosity within me. So, I read it again.

As I was reading, I kept saying in my head, WOW! I cannot believe I wrote this at such a young age. I also couldn't believe how much of myself I revealed in my paper. It also dawned on me, how much of my life I’ve forgotten about. As I approached the end of my paper, a particular section blurred my vision, as tears fell from my eyes.

“ The faculty and students had a little get together and said their goodbyes. My grade advisor handed me this book she bought in China town. Inside the book said: “ To LaToya: may you fill these pages with your beautiful poetry. Keep reaching for the stars and let no one stop you from achieving your dreams”. After I read what she wrote I broke down crying. And I’ll never forget what she said “Oh don’t cry LaToya I only paid a dollar for it”. What she paid a dollar for means more to me than words can ever describe.

My Life's Greatest Book

And you know what, throughout the years I forgot those words, and that book. It got buried under the books I’ve purchased, yet I knew exactly where it was. I went on my book self and took it down. Just looking at this book as I held it in my hands, I felt a sensation no words can decipher. As I read the inscription inside of it, in Victoria’s hand writing the sensation only grew stronger.

The date this book was given to me, was August 14, 2000. I thought to myself, I can’t believe that was eight years ago. The value of the words written, mean more to me as I’ve said before “ more than words can ever describe.”

In a world, in which you constantly feel misunderstood. For someone to give you inspiration to continue to be exactly what you are, is immense.

As far back as I can remember, I’ve been a writer. Whatever I felt, was released from within my being, onto paper. Whenever I felt something intensely, I would write. Whenever I felt anger I wrote. Whenever I felt happiness, pain, sadness or joy… I wrote. Some of the things I wrote amaze me, when I read it. I often don’t remember ever feeling that way. But for me to have written about it, I know it was real to me during the time, I jotted it down on paper.

I have two very large bins in my closet full of papers, books and journals, I wrote in throughout my life. I sat on my floor and read for a good four hours. I was taken aback, to joyous and horrific incidents in my life. Some words wowed me, some words saddened me, and some words made me smile or laugh out loud. In all in which Ive read, this may sound strange but, those words were all MINE. These words came from ME… That in itself is beyond inspiration.

I would like to take this time and write out the names of those who encouraged me in life. Who saw in me what I didn't quite understand.

To Mr. Nazzario my social studies teacher in the 7th grade, you told me I was a “diamond in the rough” which to a 7th grader, I thought was an insult. I remember asking my mother what your words meant, and she told me it was a compliment. On the last day of class you gave me a certificate of “academic achievement” that I still have….. Thank you.

To Mrs. Hamilton, my 8th grade English teacher. I’ll never forget the day, we had a test I forgot to study for. Someone in class had a cheat sheet and passed it to me. You caught me cheating on your test and embarrassed me worse than my mother . You told everyone to stop taking their test, and made me get up in front of the class and asked me all the questions out loud. I got all of the answers right except two. You made me stay after class and said, “You were only cheating yourself”…. For those words I thank you.

To Mrs. Henry, my high school English teacher. I sat here and read the journal you made us keep as we were reading “Manchild in the Promised Land” and smiled at the correspondence we shared. At the age of 16-17 you spoke and treated me as if I was an adult, and gave me a respect no one else in life gave me. I appreciate your encouragement, and all the questions you asked me, that helped express my thoughts and point of view….. thank you

To my other two high school teachers (I forgot your names, but I can close my eyes and still see both your faces). Both of you kept me after class. At first I thought I was being punished, as you both picked my brain and had long discussions with me outside of the curriculum that was being taught. In time I looked forward to the bell ringing. As each of you encouraged me to do things I never dreamed of, and went out of your way to steer me in various directions, I never knew existed….. thank you.

To Professor Scott, whose classes I took for 3 semesters. I’ll NEVER forget the day you called me belligerent. I was highly offended (because I didn’t know the meaning of the word) and within the next breath you told me I should run for student president ( I truly thought you were insane) LOL… I also sat here and read every paper I wrote in your classes, and by reading my paper on “Incidents in the life of a slave girl” and “ The scarlet letter”, and my outburst during class, yes I admit, I am belligerent (Smile).

But more importantly, you selected me to play Toledo when we read August Wilson’s “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom”… You told me that I WAS Toledo. No one could play him better than me, because who I am as a person embodies the same spirit. Coming from a white man, once again I thought you were trying to insult me. But after I read my last line, and met my demise in the last scene of the play I understood your words. For the subtle ways, you pointed me out to myself, I ..... thank you.

I wanted to take this time out to thank the educators who have taught me in life. That saw in me what I didn't know was there, and often lose sight of. I am thankful I can go back to these reminders, on who I've always been as a person. And how it was perceived, by those in which I respect.

I am beyond appreciative; so many people in life reflected myself back to me, in various forms.

Thank you.

I am The Person, I Always Was......

And Will Continue ,To Be ME

© LaToya S. C.

*****

Open eyes to the present.....

Today I walked up to the mirror of reflection, 

and I realized I'm following my life's purpose, and it feels... phenomenal.  

When another asks for help or guidance is truly the best part of my day. 

On days I'm not asked, I sit and think what can be beneficial to others.

Giving back is my happiness

To write all that I feel, even if no one reads or understands is my joy. 

Being exactly who I am in the sporadic intervals of life

 Music play's along my Melodic Tapestry

 Obliged to everyone in my path.

Blessings are in abundance.

Continuously:  

"It takes some people a lifetime to find out who they are and then another lifetime to love that person. But sometimes the answers to all of our deepest and hardest questions are right within our reach. If we just take some time to look around us, look at the love that surrounds us, the environment that cradles us. That is the time when we will find out who we are; and that is the time when we will love that person with all of our mind, body, spirit, and soul." ~*Dani Noble